By Dr Renate Volpe

Conversations at and about work inevitably follow a predictable route:
“I’m stressed
People are making my life difficult
The politics at work are killing me.”
Or
You have those seemingly high achievers who apparently have got it all together.
They appear to be on top of their jobs.
They play at happy families.

And yet, upon closer inspection and questioning,
both these groups of people feel a sense of emptiness deep inside themselves.
They lack meaning and purpose in their lives.
Yet they find themselves pushing ever harder, running from a mostly unnamed fear.

The cause, the context, the solution?

There is a difference between these two groups of people.

The first group (Type A) is generally more sensitive.

• They are bound to self reflect.
• They are emotionally intelligent.
• They are caught up in their fear.
• They have a need to be liked.
• They are petrified of the consequences of standing up or out.
• They often feel they have no choice in terms of their need to earn a living and support those they care for.

The second group (Type B)

• Have a good dose of ‘street smarts’.
• They are driven by competitive energy.
• They are generally more pragmatic.
• They do not enjoy self analysis, which they would deem self indulgent.
• They apparently manage to maintain a successful appearance or for some, a façade of ‘togetherness.’

The context is that of the world of work; where it seems; most often the worst is brought out in human nature. Work is a context where the very spirit of humanity is endangered. On the one hand many of us question who we would be without our work and yet on the other it is critical to have an identity beyond work.

Sadly warmth and compassion in the world of work are often considered weakness in the race to achieve, to be better than, to aspire to more than, to perform productively and to reach those financial targets. Consistent unrelenting pressure is the norm. Faster and faster we go.

The consequence is an existential crisis for all. This is exacerbated by the schizophrenic culture of the context which has inherent in it two opposing pulls namely;

Those of the spoken ethos of:

• Respect for people.
• For human capital.
• For transactional, inspirational and empowering leadership imperatives.

Versus those of:

• You are either better or worse than.
• You had better complete and be visible or run the risk of anonymity in the morass or the corporate corridors.
• Unrelenting political game playing is dramatized in a daily performance, on a public stage, with exhausted actors performing the art of, exercising power and influence, and the allocation of scare resources over others.

A dilution of the age old values of respect, integrity, efficiency, service and delivery, and a harassed empty soul are the consequence.

The evidence you may ask?

Increased rates of work addiction, alcohol consumption, violence against women and children, increased debt ratios, depression, infertility, heart attacks, road rage and so on.

All this in the pursuit and effort to compete with the “Jones’s” who travel abroad and who appear to have it all and who pursue “le grand lifestyle” whilst all the time inside, a creeping emptiness, a sense of despair, loneliness, unrelenting tiredness and poor relationships.

And yet to work we go, careers, and the corporate ladder we pursue.

Is there a way out of this man made maze? Is it feasible to pursue meaning in life without totally abdicating and becoming a drop out? Does it have to be about all or nothing?

For those who belong to Type A they would be well advised to:

• Have a more pragmatic attitude to life.
• Drop the notion that like is fair and study the behavior or their more street smart colleagues for learning insights.
• Moderate their self reflection, as an overdose may result in analysis paralysis.
• Identify their strengths, take more risks, and become more visible.
• Not take life so personally.
• and package their offerings at work in a manner which is acceptable to the context they are working within.

For those in the Type B category the following:

• A touch more self reflection is indicated.
• Gentleness and respect in their interactions with others would deliver surprisingly positive results in their relationships.
• Attempt to co operate and collaborate and curb the killer instinct to consistently compete.
• Drop the pretence that life is great all the time and have some “real” conversations with trustworthy and intelligent colleagues.
• Be more moderate in their outlook on life, it’s never about all or nothing.
• Be sensitive to changes and their implications on human behavior.

As for what can be done about the harshness and duplicity of the working culture attempt at the following may deliver results:

• Familiarize yourself and those in positions of authority with the benefits of work life balance initiatives, employee assistance programs, flexible working hours and father friendly working cultures.
• Explore the benefits of working in teams and job sharing.
• Educate yourself and others about the dangers of stress and burnout which lead to ill health, addictions and lack of meaning in life.
• Insist on employing competent people and hold regular performance interviews.
• Create opportunities for yourself and others who need development and skills training.
• Take pride in your work, always do the best you can, and insist that those you work with do the same.
• Focus on customer service and satisfaction.
• Emphasize the value of good communication, and relationships.
• Understand that constructive conflict and confrontation can bring about innovative and different solutions.
• Never succumb to the temptation of backhanders and the easy way out or the short term solution.
• Remember the world is small and you have but one reputation to protect and enhance.
• When life become particularly hard ask” “What is the lesson here? Could I, should I. have done something differently?”
• When all else fails; go and find someone you trust, who has life experience and wisdom, to talk to confidentially, and use as a sounding board before taking further action.