By Dr Renate Volpe

Are you slowly adjusting to being back at work?
Are you desperately trying to hold onto the hard won sense of peace and internal stability you established over the holiday period?
Sadly, you know deep down that your new sense of positivism and relaxation is tenuous at best. Before you know it, you will find yourself back in the rut: stressed, tired and fighting negativity.

What is this all about?

For the first time in years I took long leave. The first week I experienced a desire to remain constructively busy. I needed to be doing something. Being at the coast there was not too much to do, so I compensated by reading 17 books in a week.

Four weeks later, I found myself sitting at the waters edge, peacefully, with a closed book next to me, simply sitting, being quite comfortable doing absolutely nothing. I was finally able to simply “BE”. I did not have to be busy, to prove my validity, or to justify my existence. It was perfectly fine, just to sit in the sun, and appreciate the water, the sky, the trees, the birds and the intermittent activity of the youngsters, in the immediate surrounds.

What I’m indirectly admitting to is that I am something of an “activity junkie.” I can’t sit still. I constantly have to be doing something. Simply “being”, is uncomfortable for me. The only time I manage this is during yoga sessions and then I quickly get back onto the hamster wheel again.

In other words I am a recovering work addict.

We have all heard the wise words first “Be” then “Do” and you shall “Have”. The reality is that most of us exist in a world of: Wanting to “have”; Needing “to do” and intending one fine day “to be.”

There are a number of differences between people who are work addicts and those who pursue meaning and purpose.

Work addicts love responding to challenges and proving themselves. They value the acknowledgment of others. They have what is known as an eternal locus of control. What others think or say, is more important than their own internal messenger and judge. They pay a terrible price in their personal lives. Work and the impression made on seniors and colleagues trumps partners, spouses, children and family every time. Birthdays are forgotten, school events are missed, and social occasions are rarely attended, if they have nothing to do with work. What do these people have to show for these sacrifices? The “lucky ones” have material goods such as fancy cars, promotions and salary increases to show. The “unlucky ones” simply get loaded with more and more work, having to perform, ever harder, simply to prove their validity and remain afloat. Ever threatened by the power their seniors have over their job, career, and salary. Heart attacks, stress, depression and anxiety are the order of the day.

People pursuing meaning and purpose in their lives may also love learning, challenge and acknowledgment. However they accept only those challenges offered to them that they believe are aligned with their value system. They may choose not to work over time. They may choose not to attend work functions over weekends or after work. Their own interests, lives and families consistently receive priority. As such they may often (but interestingly not always) make career limiting decisions. These people have an internal locus of control. They have a strong sense of who they are. They are largely independent of the opinions and judgments of others, trusting their own inner convictions, above all else.

No one person fits absolutely into either category. The world of reality and basic needs will determine that at times keeping a job, not taking the risk of displeasing the boss, will take precedence.

The journey however, to my minds eye, is that we strive to spend more and more time, every minute, of every day, being true to ourselves, and perusing our unique sense of meaning and purpose.

Being able to negotiate and being politically astute are two of the competencies which will enable you to be more resilient in the, (sadly, most often) toxic corporate context.

To attend a workshop on Negotiation or Political competence in the corporate world, click on the "Events / Diary" button on this web site.